You will probably get sick of hearing me say this, but my husband is in medical school.  Our lives basically revolve around his class and hospital schedule. There are some days that I never see him awake.  He is up and gone by 7am and comes home around 11pm.  Not much time for quality time and in great conversation, but we have developed a few ways to stay connected and nurture our relationship when the schedule leaves no room for “us”.

• Write things down
  Like I said before we don’t have time to communicate like a normal couple.  I have found it to be helpful to write down thoughts that I have during the day that I want to discuss with him.  I also put a calendar on our refrigerator to let him know where I am and what I am doing.  He uses the Google calendar to let me know his schedule.  I work better with a real piece of paper in front of me, so I fill it in on the fridge.  Whichever works.
  I also send him lots of random Facebook, Skype, and text messages to let him know I’m thinking about him and am so proud of all of his hard work.
  
• Edit your thoughts
  This was the hardest for me to learn and accept.  I realized that I can’t tell him every single thing I see and do during the course of the day.  He doesn’t want to hear about my friend’s issues or celebrities.  His head is so jam packed with medical terminology and drug names that he doesn’t have space in his brain for useless information and when he does finally get home we want to talk about our lives and the things most important to us.
• Eat a meal together
  I cannot remember the last time my husband and I sat at our kitchen table, but there is something very bonding about sharing a meal together, even if it isn’t in the traditional sense.  Often I take dinner to him to the library on campus.  I do so not only so he will eat a decent meal, but also so I can spend a few precious moments with him.  He has to eat, so why not take advantage of that study break and spend some time together.
• Random acts of kindness
  It doesn’t have to be huge, just buying his favorite cereal at the grocery store or baking homemade cookies are little ways I can show him how much I love him when I don’t get the chance to tell him to his face.
• Turn off the computer
  This summer he had a small break from school, but I was so used to him always being gone that I would still spend the entire evening on my computer working on my blog or doing something totally pointless.  It had been so long since he was able to just be on his computer he wanted to catch up on all the sports news, online games, and everything else he’s missed out on.  We found ourselves in the same room but not spending time together.  We implemented a rule that after dinner we would have “family time”.  No computers, no phones, just time with each other enjoying one another’s company.  We went on walks, played games, watched movies, and talked for hours.  It was glorious… until the new semester started.
• Go to bed at the same time
  Even if you’re not tired, go to bed.  Not for that reason alone, but laying in bed is where we have some of our best conversations.  I think there is something about being so close to one another in the dark that makes it easier to share you heart with one another.
  Intimacy is so much more than sex.   You can have sex without intimacy, you’re just going through the motions.  I’m against scheduling sex, but sometimes we are so busy we feel guilty like we have to do it, even if neither is really in the mood.  Don’t allow sex to become an obligation rather than an expression of love.  Some of the times that I have felt closest and most in love with my husband are nights that we have spent talking and cuddling, not wild and crazy nights of passion… although you need those every once in a while too… and no one ever said it had to be at night.

  I think cuddling in marriage is just as fun and important as it was when we were dating.  Do you agree?  Perhaps that is a post for another day…