Why Spending Time with Other Couples is Important

Image source http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2125

When Andy and I first got married, we were loners.  We knew people, but we didn’t have too many friends.  We did things together, made excuses why we were busy, and generally focused on the two of us.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with that.  Too many couples and families nowadays get so busy that they never have time for their marriage.  Spending time strengthening your marriage is very important, especially at first!  However, we were missing out.

About six months into our marriage, we started realizing what we were missing out on…friends. Other couples to spend time with and grow with.  We were hesitant at first.  Part of us felt like if a couple had kids and we didn’t, then we really didn’t have too much in common.  Then we realized how fun being friends with other couples can be!

We’re now blessed to have a large circle of couples as “friends”, and several that I would consider close friends. We hang out at least once a week, go to church together, and, in general, live life together. It’s great! But why is this important?

First, no matter how good of a friend your spouse is, he or she just can never replace your need for friendships with people of the same sex.  Ladies, trust me, you need women in your life.  Other women understand you, they appreciate the same things you do, and they can give you awesome advice.  I know my husband would say the same about men.

Second, you can grow together as couples.  Undoubtedly, you still have single friends.  You may not like it, but the day you said “I do”, your friendships with them changed.  While you may still have a lot of things in common, there is quite simply a barrier of difference between unmarried and married people. Growing up, I’d watch movies with my parents and find them laughing hysterically at a part that I didn’t find that funny.  They would tell us that you could only understand the joke if you were married. I understand that now.

The fact of the matter is, marriage changes you.  It’s no longer just you…it’s you and your spouse.  You’re a couple and a family. Being friends with other married couples gives you the opportunity to grow together.  You can laugh about the same jokes and plan activities that “work” for married people (like a ladies night out that ends early so sleepy babies can get to bed).  You’re there for each other when you have babies, buy a house, or change jobs.  You do life together, and it just works.

Finally, you can learn a lot from other couples. Maybe you’re friends with a couple that are old enough to be your parents.  They have so much experiential wisdom that they can share with you from their many years of marriage!  Or maybe some of your close friends have babies and you don’t.  Are they not the perfect people to watch and learn about childrearing?  And aren’t they the perfect people to talk to about when to have kids, how to balance kids and marriage, etc?  Or maybe there’s a couple that’s even more newlywed than you.  They’re looking to you for advice and guidance.  Don’t let them down!  Being friends with other married couples can be such a learning experience!

So, open up your planner a little to make a few new friends. Don’t avoid the next Sunday school activity. Get out there and start forging relationships with other couples! I promise you, you won’t regret it.

Decorating a Rental Part 3: Tying it all together

Week 1 we covered the walls, literally.
Week 2 we talked about how to find a great deal on furniture.
This week we’re talking about tying everything together.  Make that rental feel less temporary and more like home.

You know people’s houses you walk into and instantly feel relaxed and like you could curl up on the couch and hang out?  Don’t you want that your friends to say that about your house?
Here are some tips that I have used in my own apartment to make if feel more like home.

  • Lighting – I tend to dislike over head lighting, unless it has a dimmer.  Just because there is a light on your ceiling or ceiling fan doesn’t mean you have to use it.  No one ever feels comfortable in fluorescent, harsh lighting.  It gives off a strange blue-ish hue and we want our homes warm and cozy right? Right!
    Adding some lamps or changing the light fixture can make a huge transformation in a space!   My apartment came with only 1 wall mounted light in the living room.  The fixture was absolutely horrible, but guess what is needed to change that?  A screw driver!  Simply unscrew the fixture, put it in a safe place (mine is under the sink), and then put it back before you move out!
    I instead hung a basket that I found in the trash (see it pays to walk down the street and glance around in people’s trash cans! ha!).  It worked out perfectly and I love the warm glow it gives of now.

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  • Storage- remember those plastic storage containers we all had in college?  Don’t put those in your home and call it storage!  You don’t necessarily have to throw them out, but there are ways to disguise them.  One of my favorite things is to put a curtain around your desk.  I did this in my bedroom in high school.  I found this amazing butterfly and floral vintage skirt at a thrift store but it didn’t fit so I cut it up the back seam, kept the top and bottom hem in place and hot glued it to the underside of my desk.  It looked awesome.  Unfortunately I don’t have a picture, but lots of other people have had the same idea.  It’s a great way to hide all your junk!

    Other ways to maximize on storage is baskets.  You can find baskets cheap at the dollar store or second hand store.  They don’t need to match.  Put them on your book shelves, desk, counter top, beside the couch, wherever you need to catch and collect the junk laying around your house.  They will look nice and hide your bills, magazines, and other random items.
    Be creative with your storage!  Have a vintage suitcase?  Fill it with your extra sheets or out of season clothing and prop it at the end of your bed.  Cute and practical!

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  • Adding yourself to the mix- You need to put your own mark on your home.  Sure you selected the colors, the furniture, and the storage solutions, but what makes this space uniquely your own?  And by “your” I mean your family.  Your husband, children, pets, etc.  There are several ways to do so easily and simply.
    1. Pictures -  I always think it’s strange when I go into someone’s home and all they have on the walls is generic art work.  There is no personality in that!  Proudly display your family photos!
    2. Art – ok so maybe you need some art.  Chose art that is going to inspire you.  Don’t just pick a picture of a landscape or a flower if it has no meaning and don’t just buy something because it matches the color scheme.  It doesn’t have to be expensive or even an original piece.  If you’re 5 yr old draws you a picture you love frame it!
    3. Collections – I can’t be the only one who collects things, right? I have sea shells, sea glass, bottles, books, and other random knick knacks I’ve collected over the years and they all have a story.  I collect these things because they are important to me and I have them displayed around my home so I can enjoy them all the time!
  • Plants – I heard once that a room is never complete unless it has something green and living in it.  It is so true for me!  I love being surrounded by life.  You know how a room feels so great at Christmas with a tree?  Or how fresh flowers make you unexplainably happy? Why not have a potted palm or fern growing in your space year round?  It makes a room feel fresh and a splash of green color never hurt anyone!  I think this is especially important if you live in a city.  Don’t have a green thumb?  Get a cactus!

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10 Things I Love About You {Link Up}

This month we are counting our blessings, specifically, the blessings we have in our spouse! Remember the 90/10 principle?

Ten percent of things about  our spouse drive us crazy, but there’s ninety percent of them that made us fall in love with them. This month, we’re focusing on the ninety! We hope you’ll join us in giving thanks for our spouse. None of our husbands are perfect, but instead of focusing on what they’re doing wrong, let’s give thanks for all they’re doing right!

Guidelines:

  • Link up your post containing 10 things about your husband that you are grateful for, things you love about them.
  • The linky will stay open all week, so come back anytime during the week if your  post isn’t ready yet.
  • Please link directly to the post containing your list of 10 things, not to your blog main page.
  • No non-related links, please!
  • Grab the code for the button below from the sidebar and paste it into your post so others can join us!
  • Visit a couple of the other links and share some comment love with them!



 

Find a Crowd Pleaser For Thanksgiving Dinner

I found out last week that Brian’s sister will be joining us for Thanksgiving. That means it will be my first chance to make a Thanksgiving dinner! I’m excited and a little nervous, since cooking isn’t one of my strengths. The thought of making a turkey by myself is pretty intimidating!

Even if you’re not making a full Thanksgiving dinner by yourself, chances are that you’re supposed to contribute something to the family celebration. And even beyond Thanksgiving, last week Caitlin talked about entertaining on a budget and suggested asking people to bring food, so at some time or another you might be asked to contribute to a meal. How do you decide what to bring?

1. First, if you can, find out if there are any allergies. If one of your cousins is severely allergic to peanuts, you probably shouldn’t bring peanut butter brittle. If you know your aunt is avoiding gluten, look for a gluten free recipe that everyone will enjoy. You can’t always find out about allergies, but making an effort will go a long way in making your gathering more enjoyable.

Note: since writing this post, I stumbled across this blog post, “Allergen-Free Dishes for Thanksgiving,” on Life…Your Way and I just had to share!

2. Second, don’t get to crazy. You don’t have to cater to everyone’s preferences, but when bringing food, try to stick with something most people will like. I recommend staying away from exotic ingredients and unique combinations. If you know there will be kids present, keep in mind that most children are sensitive to texture, bitter tasting foods, and foods that look strange and unfamiliar to them.

So how do find crowd pleasers? Here are a few of my favorite places to find recipes.

  • Google. If you just Google “chicken recipes,” you’ll get thousands of results. But to save time, you can fine tune your search, while staying in Google.

After your initial search, select the “Recipes” option along the left side. Then you’ll have options to filter by the ingredients you have on hand, the cooking time, and even the calories.

  • AllRecipes.com.  I love all recipes, because you can set up a free account, and then save recipes to your “recipe box” to use later! There’s also a handy menu planning tool, and menus to browse for inspiration. The recipes also have ratings and comments with suggestions and feedback.

I think the turkey prepping video will come in handy!

  • Food blogs. Chances are you already follow a few! Browse their archives for recipes that were hits with their own families. Delish.com made this “Best of the Food Blogs” list, and Babble.com put together this alphabetical list of the 50 Best Mom Food Bloggers where you’re sure to find inspiration, or you could try the food blog search to find more.

What are your favorite places to find recipes? Got a crowd pleaser to share? Leave a comment and fill us in!

P.S: Tomorrow if all goes well we will have our first linky! Grab the button code on the right and get your post ready! We’re looking forward to reading it!

I’m linking up with WFMW today.

Entertaining on a Budget

You’ve seen dinner parties on t.v. and in movies your whole life. And you’ve always wanted to be one of those amazing hostesses who makes guests feel welcome. Now that you’re married you realize that entertaining like that costs money…money that isn’t really in your budget right now. With the holiday season approaching, you want to invite people over, but how do you make it work?

Image source thelifeofasuburbanprincess.blogspot.com

Many young couples make the mistake of thinking that entertaining has to be expensive. The truth is, it doesn’t! Yes, having a giant dinner party with racks of lamb may cost a pretty penny. Who says you have to entertain that way?

One of the easiest, budget-saving tips I can give you is to keep things casual. Casual means fewer decorations and cheaper food…but just as much fun. Why not just invite some friends over for pizza (the discount ones of course)? Or how about hamburgers and hotdogs (that you’ve bought in large packs from the store)? Or even just have a desert or appetizer party. The possibilities are endless!

Image source thepartydress.net

Another way to keep costs low is to have guests help bring certain items, such as chips, drinks, or paper plates. I know that our friends are more than happy to bring something, and most of them ask me what they can bring. Don’t tell them to just bring themselves…take them up on their offer! If you’re only giving your guests one thing to bring, then you don’t need to feel bad.

As far as decorations go, be creative. Find leaves or flowers out in your yard that you can use. Pull out old scraps of fabric to make a table runner or napkin rings. Festive decorating doesn’t have to cost a lot. Magazines always have great ideas for decorating, and many of them you can alter to make even cheaper. Why not gather a few acorns outside and put them in a bowl with a candle for a center piece? Or pick a few wildflowers and tuck one inside each guest’s napkin? Get inspiration, get creative, and get busy!

Image source http://growingyourgrassgreener.blogspot.com

If you do invest in certain items, such as cups, wreaths, or tablecloths, do your homework. Buy things on clearance after a holiday and save them for next year. Don’t buy the cheapest of the cheap, either. Good quality items will last for years to come, whereas cheap items may only make it through a few uses. Whatever you choose to do, have fun when you’re entertaining. Don’t worry about what guests think about your home or your choice in food. I promise you, they’re not thinking about it. Successful entertaining is all about the atmosphere and mood you create, and no amount of money can buy that.

What are some things you do to have people over without breaking the bank?