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Staying Active Together

November 16, 2012 by · 2 Comments

A while back, I had read post about a married lady who shared that staying active as a couple helps boost your overall morale. Since then, Josh and I have been busy finding fun ways to get exercise & quality time together. Here’s a few ideas!

Biking Together

We were lucky enough to have one bike already when my family donated another one. We’ve enjoyed biking local trails, parks and even around our neighborhood. You can find great deals on bikes during the holiday sales or even at yard sales. Who knows, someone you know may be willing to donate to a healthier marriage cause, too! ;-)

Playing “Games”

I am NOT an athletic person by any stretch of the imagination. But, what I can say is that we have enjoyed playing a couple of sports together like bowling, basketball and racquetball. Even if you aren’t good at it, give it a try! You can also make the time more interesting by turning the sports into an actual game (the first personal to miss has to run a lap or two scores in a row gets an extra point, etc.)

Taking Local Lessons

Learning something new together could lead to exercise and fun. Try signing up for ballroom dance classes or rowing classes. You could even take surf lessons or try horseback riding together.

The important thing is that you learn to enjoy activities, exercise and make memories together. In what ways do you stay active with your spouse?

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships ·

5 Don’ts For Dealing With In-Laws

August 20, 2012 by · 3 Comments

“Dealing with in-laws” tied with “Merging Finances” in the poll we took several weeks ago, so today I’m sharing a few tips I’ve learned from experience:

1. Don’t borrow money from them, ask them to co-sign on a loan, etc.

Nothing puts strain on a relationship more than owing money. Many newlyweds who are too eager to have all the “stuff” they want right away end up strapping themselves to a heavy burden of debt to to their parents. Even if your parents offer to loan you money, do you really want to  live with them questioning your vacation choices, shopping habits, etc. until you pay them back?

2. Don’t criticize them to your spouse.

They are his family, and no matter how much they annoy you, he still loves them, and wants you to love them too. So be respectful. Keep your opinions about things like how and where they spend money, give gifts, eat, and otherwise choose to live their lives to yourself.

Note that this is not the same as discussing a real issue between them and you with your spouse. If your in-laws are doing something that creates a real problem for you, DO talk to your spouse about it!

3. Don’t tell them “Well, my parents_____”

No one likes to be compared to someone else. Even if you think the way your parents raised you, saved for their retirement, or decorated their living room is far superior, your in-laws probably won’t appreciate your my-parents-are-better-than-thou attitude.

4. Don’t tell them marriage issues you’re having with their son.

Even if you and your mother-in-law are close, she should not be your confidant in this area. One, because issues with her son might make her feel like she failed as a parent, and two, it’s not respectful to your husband. Keep your disagreements between yourselves or a trusted, impartial counselor. Three, imagine how you would feel if your mom called you to tell you to “behave” because your husband complained to her. There’s no guarantee that if you confide in your mother-in-law, she won’t decide to do a little parenting of your husband. And four, most likely, she’ll side with her son anyway!

5. Don’t let them come between you and your husband.

You and your husband need to stay united, both supporting the other. You two are a family now. It is unacceptable for in-laws to pit one of you against the other. Unity in marriage is extremely important, and if an issue with your in-laws is threatening that, I recommend getting counseling to work through the issue and restore unity between you and your spouse.

Let’s hear from you: what would you add to this list?  

Filed Under: Family, Relationships ·

Waiting For The Storm To Pass

August 17, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

 

Yesterday, I received a dreaded phone call.

My car, that was in shop, needed major repairs.

Nothing simple about it. Major repairs = major cash blowout.

Why is it that when something goes wrong everything else seems to follow the same pace?

My Article gets rejected. My clothes don’t fit right. My head is pounding with a headache. I’m being grumpy to my husband (for no reason). Final paperwork is due…on and on it goes.

A complaining spirit. I’m cloaked in the ugly, unforgiving hand of faithless following. I didn’t stop to pray about the car. I didn’t show grace to my husband who’s feeling the drain, too. I didn’t ask for direction with my writing. I didn’t take time to eat healthy or work out the day before.  A whole lot of “I”s floating in that paragraph that leads me to the truth.

The truth is I can’t make it on my own. I don’t have the necessary strength. Instead of  whining, I should spend my time waiting for the storm to pass with prayer and thanksgiving of what He has blessed us with.

After, all isn’t that what He did for us? He was despised, rejected, humiliated and crushed. Yet through it all He gave everything over to the will of His father. Maybe someday I will learn to model the attitude of Christ during my stormy seas that pale in comparison as to what He did for me.

Today I’m giving it all over to him one car problem and bad article at a time.

Filed Under: Relationships, Uncategorized ·

Have You Ever Felt Lonely in Marriage?

July 30, 2012 by · 1 Comment

lessons from loneliness

“I’m so alone.”

Tears stung my eyes, and two drops escaped. I wiped them away, but they fell even faster.

Did that thought ever cross your mind after your marriage?

Did you ever feel alone, abandoned?

I met Brian the summer before my freshman year and his junior year of college at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. We started dating the first month of classes, and one year later, he proposed. After a nine month engagement, we were married on a perfect fairytale June day.

Real life set in fast: after the week of our honeymoon, we packed our college apartments, our belongings from our parents homes, our whole lives. We weren’t moving across town, or to a new apartment in Ames. We were moving 1,518 miles, to a new climate, a new city, and a new home in Phoenix, Arizona.

The temperature when we arrived was quite different from what we were used to in Iowa – a 118 sizzling degrees. But more than just the temperature would take getting used to.

I went from full classes, hallways, lecture halls, football games, Bible studies twice a week, bustling cafeterias, one on one discipling, college ministry, weekly activities, coffee dates, and hanging out with friends, all in addition to weekly church services… to online classes, knowing one family in the entire city, and once a week church services. I went from being immersed in community to near isolation.

Read the rest of this post at Unveiled Wife! While you’re there, be sure to follow the Unveiled Wife for more marriage encouragement!

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships · Tagged With: , ,

Date Night Idea: Double (or Triple) Dates

July 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

My husband and I currently live in a tiny, rural town (read: we just got a McDonalds two summers ago).  If we want to go to a movie, go bowling, or even eat somewhere other than a Southern buffet, we have to drive a minimum of 45 minutes.  With gas prices going up, and our free time ever dwindling, we’ve found that our date options are very limited.  A lot of the “cheap” date ideas out there become not-so-cheap when you factor in gas.

Even if you don’t live in a rural area like me, I’m sure you can relate to the rising prices of “dates”.  Movies, ice cream, and  miniature golf all seem to be going up in prices.  So what’s a newlywed couple to do?

Why not try something you probably gave up ages ago (if you ever did them)…double dates.  Sure, sitting across from another couple isn’t the most “romantic” thing to do but, be honest, how many of your dates anymore are of the “mushy” kind?

The great thing about double (or triple) dates, is that they can save you a lot of money.  Why not ride together and split the gas?  You can also find great deals for more than two people on things such as restaurants and concerts.  Just keep your eyes peeled!  Or, plan a double date in.  Rent a movie, get some pizza, and get together somewhere.  Trust me, your wallet will thank-you for including another couple in your plans.

Besides money, though, there are lots of advantages to double dates.  You’ll get to know another couple better, and perhaps learn ideas for your own marriage from them.  You’ll probably have great conversations together that can be conversation starters for just the two of you later.  Your friends may also have date night ideas that you’ve never thought of.  Most importantly, though, double dates are just plain fun.  You don’t have to be a teenager to enjoy them!

 

Here are some double (and triple) date ideas to try:

-Go for a hike.

-Pair up with someone with a Jeep and go off-roading. 

-Pack a picnic and head to the creek.

-Host a game night.

-Plan a late-night desert run.

-Plan a nice dinner and have everyone bring a different dish.

-Find out what the best deals in town are for larger quantities of food (aka, a bucket of chicken, pizza deals, etc.), and have some friends over.

-Drive to a nearby town and explore it together.

-Do a photo shoot together.

 

Do you ever double (or triple) date?  What are some of your favorite things to do with other couples?

Filed Under: Date Night Ideas, Friends, Relationships, Summer!, Uncategorized · Tagged With: , ,
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