Merging two lives together through marriage is so much more complex than I thought it would be. Somehow I always thought of my future husband as my future roommate, where many things are still kept separate even when sharing a house. I quickly found out that merging two lives is a big undertaking, and it can take a lot of time to come together in a way that satisfies everyone. I also quickly found out that two people have a lot of combined possessions. We just have so much stuff.
{saying goodbye to my childhood home}
Last month, my mom finally sold our childhood home, where I lived from the time I was 8 to 18. Saying goodbye to that haven that I loved so much has been hard, but I’ve also encountered the unexpected burden of even more stuff. For the past few years while the house was on the market, I left behind boxes of items I didn’t need but didn’t want to throw away yet. Dolls, soccer trophies, baby stuff, etc. Now that the house is sold, all of those things are with me again, and Rob has discovered that we need even more storage space. However, the older I get, the more I realize I don’t want all the clutter in my life. As much as I cherish some of the items I’ve held onto over the years, I don’t want a house full of things that I never use or even look at. And I know that Rob wasn’t expecting to have even more boxes and storage containers line the walls of our apartment. At the same time, it’s so hard to decide what to keep and what to give up forever. Here are some questions to ask while going through your childhood things:
{sad, empty house}
+ Is there really sentimental value in it? It can be really difficult to choose to throw away or give away an item that was a part of your childhood. I’m a very sentimental person, so I can find a memory attached to just about anything. I also believe there has to be a limit to what we hold onto. Does every item I want to keep have true sentimental value? Do I need every single one of the dolls I played with as a girl to help me remember how much fun I had? Probably not. I figure that if I can explain to my husband why it’s important to me and he thinks it’s valid, I can keep it. If I really can’t come up with enough memories or good reasons to hold onto something, then maybe it’s time to let it go.
+ Does it make sense to hold onto for my future children? Now that we’re married, it’s reasonable to think we may be having our own children in the relatively near future. If you’ve been lucky enough to hold onto some of your childhood toys, books or blankets, it can be wonderful to pass them along. Find the items that are in great condition and keep them that way! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with holding onto some pieces for a few years so that your children can use them in the future. We have a set of really nice Disney pictures that don’t make sense to hang up now, but I know in the future they’ll look great in a child’s room.
+ Can it add aesthetic value to my home? I think it’s safe to say that most decoration in the home is pretty useless. Pictures, vases, trinkets. They don’t actually serve a purpose, but they are nice to look at. Maybe there is a blanket or pillow from your childhood that fits into your home decor now. I’ve inherited some beautiful jewelry boxes from my family that I held onto just because they looked nice. If you have an item from your childhood that could work well as decoration, hold onto it and find the perfect place for it. Those items can also have a great story behind them.
I think for the most part we know what is useful to us and what isn’t. It’s just so hard to let go of pieces of our childhood. Thankfully, we are sharing our living spaces with men, and they are more than happy to help us figure out what should and should not stay in the home. If you truly can’t decide what to part with, let your husband help you sort through it all. I think that it’s worth it to sort through all the things that can become just stuff in order to have a happy, clean home. Maybe you’re moving and you have to decide what to keep from the previous stage in your life. Maybe it’s just time declutter your home. Whatever the case may be, it’s always good to sort through what you own and make sure there’s a good reason to keep what you have. It also helps you really appreciate what you do have when there’s less clutter to hide it all.
{an embarrassing set of pictures of my brother and i, just for fun}
This post is SO timely for me right now, Kelly! Brian and I are moving this month, and we have to downsize. Interestingly, in our family Brian is the one who hangs onto lots of sentimental stuff, and I get rid of stuff easily. I have one tiny box of sentimental childhood stuff that I’m keeping or saving for our future children, and Brian has a gigantic box
. These questions will be great for me to help him consider the stuff he keeps.
Great post…especially since I’ve been busy weeding out our closets. I’m trying to learn to let go and not place such a sentimental value on things. Easier said than done for me!
Great tips! Before I went off to college I went through every single thing I had, boxed up the things that I wanted, but didn’t need for awhile and organized my room. Everything I really needed went to college with me and when I got married three years later I had already down-sized, and boxed up a lot of my stuff. It was a pretty easy transition after that!
Now, the problem we encountered several years later is our PARENTS getting rid of things that they had saved for years and years and then trying to give that stuff to us so they could de-clutter. I think it would be great to get tips on how to say no to that kind of stuff and how to do it without hurting your parent’s feelings!
My in-law’s gave us books that used to be my husband’s, old baseball caps and helmets, pictures, and more. My mom tried to give me some of my old bedding and favorite blankets from when I was little. What to do with that kind of stuff?? LOL
Kathryn, that’s definitely what inspired this post. I didn’t realize how much of my old stuff I was storing at my mom’s house! I have a collection of ceramic dolls, soccer trophies, baby keepsakes; things you don’t want to get rid of but really don’t want to keep either. Makes you realize how much STUFF we hold on to.